What is a bidet?
Like many American things, the word, bidet, is French. It means, literally, small horse. I am not kidding. I guess because you straddle it?
But, like the French, bidets don't win wars, but they do win the battle of the bathroom.
Anyway, what is it? It's for cleaning your underneath parts after you've done your patriotic duty. There are many types of bidet, but they all involve you either flicking a switch, turning a nob, or pulling a trigger and blasting your ass with a fresh column of water like a 1994 super soaker. Like God intended.